So I'm pretty much ALWAYS cold. Well, not technically always but the majority of the time and more than your average person. This is especially true at work where in the winter, the heat is never high enough and in the summer, the air conditioning is my worst enemy. One particular day recently in May (which is an especially confusing weather month for the thermostat at work), I happened to walk outside to take a short break. It was overcast but not windy, neither really cold or warm but I thought, it'd be perfect if the sun was out. Lo and behold, not 10 seconds after I think the thought, the sun comes out from behind a cloud and shines down on me for a good minute, warming me up a bit. Now, I know that a lot of believers would like to jump on this and say, "There! God heard your thoughts and answered them, maybe to show you he loves you! How can you not believe in him now?" I myself, only being recently deconverted, ran through these thoughts at first as well.
But then I remembered there is no God. I remembered that behind the clouds, the sun is always shining (when it's day on our side of the planet) and that clouds move. Those two very simple concepts are enough to explain the short burst of warmth that seemed to be meant just for me.
I have three things that I want to say about this experience:
1. My way of thinking is that nothing is explained by the supernatural. Sure, that could have been God parting the clouds for me but it's more likely that the wind did it and it didn't have me in mind. There's no reason, other than hopeful delusion, to throw God in the mix there.
2. If God did exist, and he did love me and he did want to tell me, then he should do that. And not through other people, and not through the Bible and not just through "acts". Consider this: if someone was interested in you, but you found out because he or she told so and so and so and so told you, or because he wrote you a note or better yet, told so and so to write a note or EVEN BETTER, so and so wrote you a note saying he or she was interested in you but he or she had nothing to do with the note, or because he or she claims he or she did things for you like secretly helped you get a promotion that you worked really hard for, would you believe it? Doesn't that seem a little fifth grade to you? Hey Sally, Billy says he likes you. Do you like him back? A God worth loving and being loved by should have the guts to come to you himself and tell you how he feels. Why ever not?
3. I am not so naive (anymore) to think that an all powerful being (exists) and/or is remotely interested in my individual life. If he was, he would not be a god worth worshiping because as he's listening in on my thoughts and giving me the sun I was hoping for, how many people were dying or being tortured or raped or starving or sick or - the list goes on. Obviously, this god cannot prioritize as well as I can, and that's a little sad.
Epicurus: “Is god willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god?”
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